Kathy's Thoughts

My thoughts on life around me and trying to find the true me.

Modern Day Bullying

“Bullying builds character like nuclear waste creates superheroes. It’s a rare occurrence and often does much more damage than endowment.”
Zack W. Van

When one thinks of a Bully, one thinks of the big Boy on the playground that goes around stealing other kids lunch money.  That is the image I grew up with anyway.  Up until a few weeks ago, I wondered why our Schools were spending so much money year after year drilling the no bullying concept into the mold-able little brains of our Children.

Could kids really still be that bad?  We don’t send our kids to school with actual money for lunch anymore.  Cash is pretty much obsolete after all.

I have since noticed it on the School bus.  I have seen parents complaining of it on facebook.  I have seen the Children that are left out.  My own being own of them.  My Daughter shrugs them off  because at the tender age of 11, she has already figured out that they are the ones with a problem.

The School is doing what it can to nip this in the bud.  A new strategy is employed each year.   I can’t say that it will eradicate the problem but I think it is doing a good job of at least calling attention to it.  Our kids are learning how to be compassionate and more importantly they are learning how to be accepting.  They are realizing that not everyone looks alike, thinks alike, likes the same sports, etc and that is ok.

My concern is not for the youth of  today but remarkably the youth of yesterday!  That’s right, MY generation.  Let’s face it folks, would we really need to teach our Children about bullies if they didn’t exist?  Where did they learn this behavior from?  Yes, I subscribe to the theory that bullying is a learned behavior.  You don’t need to agree but please don’t discount the idea.

I am finding that most of  the kids that are bullies or exhibit bully like behavior are learning it from their parents!   You know the type.  The ones that were popular in High School and seem to think that 20+ years later that they still have something to prove.  The ones that feel the need to dictate what their “friends” can and cannot wear, say, drink and with whom they can associate.  They have figured out over the years how to make it seem like they are just gossiping about something or someone while getting you to drink in their every word and agree that yes, Mary is a horrible person for wanting to introduce new programs into the school.   The truth is that they are jealous that Mary thought of the idea first and is getting credit for it.  Meanwhile, they are losing sight of the fact that what matters is that the children are getting a program that they will love and don’t care who introduced it!

In the spirit of responsible parenting, do yourself a favor and teach your kids that they are beautiful, strong individuals and they can do anything they put their mind to despite what others may say about them.

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Responsible Parenting

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding jobs in the world, MOST of the time. Days when you and your Child miss a family party however is one of the days that it sucks.

Why did we miss the party? Because my husband and I are responsible parents. Our little guy came home from School one day dragging. Minutes later he was out cold on the couch. We concluded that school was out for the next day. Little man spent the day watching TV, playing on the computer and pretty much acting like any normal Five year old. That is until Dinner rolled around. We ate together as a family just as we do most nights. It looked like we were in the clear and that we would be able to send him back to school in the morning. That’s when the unexpected happened. The poor little guy started covering his mouth and asking for a bowl.

There is nothing worse than seeing your Child vomit. It doesn’t matter if he is an infant or a Kindergartener. You feel helpless. You want to whisk the Child away to a land where vomit does not exist. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is give them a bowl, rub their little head, kiss that same head and assure them that it won’t last forever.

Fast forward another day. The little one is home all day again and once again exhibiting signs that he is fine. He even makes it through Dinner this time! You are thinking you are IN THE CLEAR! He gets into his bed, is slumbering peacefully and BAM it starts all over again!

It is now Saturday and for a month the Child has been looking forward to going Bowling for his Cousin’s Birthday. The Angel and Devil sit on opposite shoulders and present their arguments. The Devil is saying, “Go, no one will know, he looks fine and he is acting fine.” The Angel of course is saying, “Don’t you dare go. You will get the other kids sick.”

Since we are responsible parents, I sat home with the little guy who was playing the wii and we both missed out on bowling and cake. I have to admit that I was tempted to follow that Devil’s advice and just go. REALLY tempted. The truth is that if I wasn’t so ticked that a “friend” exposed my Daughter to Coxsackie a few weeks ago by having a  meeting at her germ infested house, I might have gone. I just don’t want people talking about me and how I gave their kid a stomach virus. It is the responsible thing to do but man did it hurt me to have to tell my little guy he couldn’t go.

Parenting really bites sometime but for the record, I made the right decision in staying home with him because the poor child got sick AGAIN that night.  Today’s struggle is as to whether we call off the other guy’s Birthday party.  He had a fever and a headache at school yesterday.  We will see how today progresses and if we have to we will postpone is party.  The good news is that his tadpoles came yesterday so he isn’t too distraught!

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