Kathy's Thoughts

My thoughts on life around me and trying to find the true me.

Go ahead, make someone’s day

The other day, my Son had a 1/2 day of school and a gift card burning a hole in his pocket.  We trolled around a certain toy store for about a half hour so he could increase his Lego collection from huge to obscene.  Next we stopped in the pet store to check out the fish and frogs.  Finally we wound up in the closest fast food place.

I ordered a cheeseburger with lots of gooey fake cheese, some fries and a root beer while he had Chicken nuggets (this place uses real chicken), fries and a Chocolate milk.  We talked and just enjoyed each other for a while.

As we left to head to the car, I thanked the older man in front of us for holding the door.  He smiled and said, “Can I tell you joke?”  I figured what the heck it will only take a minute and it will probably make the man’s day.  I replied, “sure but only because I like your cap. (he was sporting an NYPD ball cap)”

My Son and I listened to a few jokes, laughed, learned a little bit about the man and went our merry way.  It took a mere few minutes out of our lives to give this man the attention he craved and we all felt better afterwards.

My challenge to you is to make someone’s day.  Smile at a stranger, stop to listen to a joke, pay someone’s toll for them.  A simple act can go a long way.

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The Journey continues

For those of you that have been following my journey to “find” myself, here is an update.

A few weeks back the Neurologist proclaimed me to be, “100% neurologically healthy”.  This didn’t explain why I still have pain though.  He recommended a Rheumatologist.  Last week I went for x-rays of my hands, wrists and feet.  They showed that I have normal hands, wrists and feet.  I also went for blood work.  A year ago my Rheumatoid factor was a little high so we wanted to compare it to this years number while also testing for Lupus, Sjogren’s and who knows what else.

Guess what, I am Rheumatologically healthy as well although due to the first Rheumatoid factor she wants to check me again in a year to make sure I don’t develop RA.

Where does this leave me?  Frankly, it leaves me a bit peeved!  My body still hurts me.  I couldn’t even stand up this morning without being in pain.  I have no answers and it is depressing me.  I am a 41 year old woman.  I should not have pain like I am ninety!

So the journey continues to figure out this mystery I call my body.  If you have any ideas or suggestions of things I should rule out, please comment.  In the meantime, stay healthy yourself.


Versatile Blogger Award! Thanks so much!

I have had a blog for a few years now.  It is on another site and I was blogging my thoughts basically just so my head wouldn’t explode .  I was a horrible blogger though and rarely wrote down my thoughts.  In fact, few people even knew I had one.

My blog on this site started out as a let’s find the true Kathy type of thing and I had named it Reinventing me.  Then things started to happen, I liked going back and reading my thoughts.  I told one friend about it.  Just one.  I tagged a few things.  I got a comment from a random person.  I kinda like that I had been noticed.  I told another friend and I changed my fake name to my real name.  How can someone find their true self if they are hiding behind a fake name?  Anyway, I certainly wasn’t blogging so I could get an award.  I have to admit though, I’m having so much fun!

The other day, mandyholbert nominated me for the Versatile Blogger Award.  So I have to say to Mandy, Thanks so much, I am honored.

I had to look up this award, and I found the info here: Versatile Blogger Award.

I’m new to this really blogging thing so I don’t have many that I follow yet but I’m going to nominate my favorites anyway!  As Mandy pointed out, you can never have too many awards!

Check these out:

1. magicalchildhood

2. Crafted crow

3.  jonwatersauthor

4. budgetsavydiva

5.  catsdailytangent

6.  crickleberrycottage

7.  sustainablemaine

8.  crabbetrap

9. words

10. randomactsofkindness

11.  customerservicestories

Wow, that took a while!  On to 7 things about me:

1. I have a love/hate relationship with snow. I can sit and watch snow falling all day, I think it is pretty but I hate being outside in it and shoveling it…
2. I don’t like liars, bullies and manipulative people. Although, I think you knew that already.
3. I hate the beach.  I like to look at the water but am afraid of the undertow and hate sand in all sorts of places that sand should not go
4. I hate to cook.  I would much rather clean up..
5. I love to read.
6. I have a disease with no name.
7. I love watching my flowers grow and my new obsession is living off the land.

Thanks for reading.



My aching brain!

M.C. Escher once said, “I don’t use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough.”    I find myself sort of understanding what he meant lately.   I have been battling a killer headache for days now.  When I get these headaches, I just want to sleep.  I want to turn my brain off and just veg.   For some reason though, my brain decides that this is the time that it should be in overdrive.  So my quote would be, “I don’t use drugs, my thoughts are frightening enough.”

I can’t even begin to tell you how many thoughts were in my head this morning.  There were so many that I woke up and said to myself, “I feel like I am in a M.C. Escher painting.”  It was when I googled M.C. Escher that I saw his quote and how perfectly it fit into today’s thoughts.

I woke up thinking primarily of how I need a tape recorder in my brain.  How much easier would that make life?  There always seems to be a million things going on in this head of mine.  If I could just tape my thoughts and replay them one at a time, I could have hundreds of blog posts.  I will try to corral them and post but I can’t guarantee anything because the kids have a whopping 2 1/2 hours of school today and it is almost over.

I am off to gather my thoughts regarding the middle child as I have his parent-teacher conference shortly and I want to ensure I find out what they are doing about his anxiety.   The poor kid had to inherit that from me.  I will let you know how it goes, if my brain allows me to remember I made this  promise.


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Modern Day Bullying

“Bullying builds character like nuclear waste creates superheroes. It’s a rare occurrence and often does much more damage than endowment.”
Zack W. Van

When one thinks of a Bully, one thinks of the big Boy on the playground that goes around stealing other kids lunch money.  That is the image I grew up with anyway.  Up until a few weeks ago, I wondered why our Schools were spending so much money year after year drilling the no bullying concept into the mold-able little brains of our Children.

Could kids really still be that bad?  We don’t send our kids to school with actual money for lunch anymore.  Cash is pretty much obsolete after all.

I have since noticed it on the School bus.  I have seen parents complaining of it on facebook.  I have seen the Children that are left out.  My own being own of them.  My Daughter shrugs them off  because at the tender age of 11, she has already figured out that they are the ones with a problem.

The School is doing what it can to nip this in the bud.  A new strategy is employed each year.   I can’t say that it will eradicate the problem but I think it is doing a good job of at least calling attention to it.  Our kids are learning how to be compassionate and more importantly they are learning how to be accepting.  They are realizing that not everyone looks alike, thinks alike, likes the same sports, etc and that is ok.

My concern is not for the youth of  today but remarkably the youth of yesterday!  That’s right, MY generation.  Let’s face it folks, would we really need to teach our Children about bullies if they didn’t exist?  Where did they learn this behavior from?  Yes, I subscribe to the theory that bullying is a learned behavior.  You don’t need to agree but please don’t discount the idea.

I am finding that most of  the kids that are bullies or exhibit bully like behavior are learning it from their parents!   You know the type.  The ones that were popular in High School and seem to think that 20+ years later that they still have something to prove.  The ones that feel the need to dictate what their “friends” can and cannot wear, say, drink and with whom they can associate.  They have figured out over the years how to make it seem like they are just gossiping about something or someone while getting you to drink in their every word and agree that yes, Mary is a horrible person for wanting to introduce new programs into the school.   The truth is that they are jealous that Mary thought of the idea first and is getting credit for it.  Meanwhile, they are losing sight of the fact that what matters is that the children are getting a program that they will love and don’t care who introduced it!

In the spirit of responsible parenting, do yourself a favor and teach your kids that they are beautiful, strong individuals and they can do anything they put their mind to despite what others may say about them.

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Responsible Parenting

Being a parent is one of the most rewarding jobs in the world, MOST of the time. Days when you and your Child miss a family party however is one of the days that it sucks.

Why did we miss the party? Because my husband and I are responsible parents. Our little guy came home from School one day dragging. Minutes later he was out cold on the couch. We concluded that school was out for the next day. Little man spent the day watching TV, playing on the computer and pretty much acting like any normal Five year old. That is until Dinner rolled around. We ate together as a family just as we do most nights. It looked like we were in the clear and that we would be able to send him back to school in the morning. That’s when the unexpected happened. The poor little guy started covering his mouth and asking for a bowl.

There is nothing worse than seeing your Child vomit. It doesn’t matter if he is an infant or a Kindergartener. You feel helpless. You want to whisk the Child away to a land where vomit does not exist. Unfortunately, the only thing you can do is give them a bowl, rub their little head, kiss that same head and assure them that it won’t last forever.

Fast forward another day. The little one is home all day again and once again exhibiting signs that he is fine. He even makes it through Dinner this time! You are thinking you are IN THE CLEAR! He gets into his bed, is slumbering peacefully and BAM it starts all over again!

It is now Saturday and for a month the Child has been looking forward to going Bowling for his Cousin’s Birthday. The Angel and Devil sit on opposite shoulders and present their arguments. The Devil is saying, “Go, no one will know, he looks fine and he is acting fine.” The Angel of course is saying, “Don’t you dare go. You will get the other kids sick.”

Since we are responsible parents, I sat home with the little guy who was playing the wii and we both missed out on bowling and cake. I have to admit that I was tempted to follow that Devil’s advice and just go. REALLY tempted. The truth is that if I wasn’t so ticked that a “friend” exposed my Daughter to Coxsackie a few weeks ago by having a  meeting at her germ infested house, I might have gone. I just don’t want people talking about me and how I gave their kid a stomach virus. It is the responsible thing to do but man did it hurt me to have to tell my little guy he couldn’t go.

Parenting really bites sometime but for the record, I made the right decision in staying home with him because the poor child got sick AGAIN that night.  Today’s struggle is as to whether we call off the other guy’s Birthday party.  He had a fever and a headache at school yesterday.  We will see how today progresses and if we have to we will postpone is party.  The good news is that his tadpoles came yesterday so he isn’t too distraught!

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My Happy Place

When someone tells you to go to your happy place most people immediately think of the ocean.  You picture the calming waves, smell the salt air….

I never understood why picturing this didn’t actually relax me until this morning.  This morning as I lay on the couch trying to coax my 11 year old out the door to Middle School, I stumbled upon my true happy place.  6am is my time for introspection.  I get up, head to the couch with my pillow and phone (as an alarm to get the other 2 up) and settle into my brain for a while.  My gaze happened to hit the kitchen table this morning and I was happy.

What per tell on a kitchen table could make someone happy, you ask?  I glanced over and saw the stalks of my recently planted seeds.  It then hit me like a Mack truck.  I could never relax because the beach is NOT my happy place.  The beach reminds me of sand in all sorts of orifices, of me being turned over numerous times by the undertow and fearing I would never emerge from the 2 foot depths and see my family ever again.  The GARDEN however…

I am smiling even as I type this.  I am picturing my fruit/vegetable garden.  As of right now, the garden holds Strawberry plants waiting to bare fruit again this year as well as a Rosemary plant.  Last week I got down on my knees and dug up the weeds one day.  I love the feel of the dirt under my nails, of ripping the evil weeds out of the earth and replacing them with seeds that will one day bring me bounty.

The next day, I turned my soil.  It now sits ready waiting to confirm that the final frost has truly come and gone.  My seedlings sit on the table near the window begging to be put into the earth.  They long to be put in rows and become cucumbers, squash, peppers, eggplant and even corn.  There is nothing like being able to go right outside and pick the veggies that you are going to serve with dinner. 

Yes folks, I have found my happy place.  It is my garden and if you are nice, I will share my crops with you.

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Luck of the Irish

Those that know me, know that:

1.  I am Irish.

2.  I have a disease with no name as of yet

3.  I love my Cub Scouts.

My disease can creep up on me at any given time.  It makes my hands and feet cramp up.  It is known to numb an entire side of my body and it is prone to giving me HORRIFIC headaches.  I try not to let it interfere with my Scout meetings as we are Bears now and I can’t just pawn my Boys off on anyone at this point.

This past Saturday was St. Patrick’s Day and it coincided with our annual Cub Scout day at camp.  It is the one day of the year where the whole Pack can get together to run around, shoot arrows, run an obstacle course, climb a rock wall, take an amazing hike and some years even shoot BB’s before hanging out at a campfire for songs and skits.  Cap off the night with dinner and smores and everyone is happy.

If you are lucky enough, you can get a spot in one of the two cabins we rent and you can stay the night.  I was lucky enough.  My lucky didn’t end there however.  This year, I opted in on the hike across the Palisades Parkway to the “Castle” and the amazing view of the NYC city skyline across the Hudson River.  I had on my day pack filled to capacity with water in the cavity and a bottle of Aleve just in case.  We hiked for MILES to get there.  Not one kid complained, not even an adult!  The thing that made the hike amazing wasn’t the view.  It wasn’t the geocache we found either.  It was the fact that I made it there and back with only mild numbness and no foot cramps!

Yes, the luck of the Irish reined supreme for me this year.  I made memories with my kids and my Scouts and my disease took a day off!

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I’m doing it!

I took a step today.  I sent an e-mail stating that I was resigning from a rather prestigious committee.  I won’t lie, it killed me to do it.  The truth of the matter though is that in order to move forward towards inner peace and harmony it had to be done.

I HAVE to cut back on my undertakings and I DID!!!  I won’t be able to get this committee back when I have figured out how to tame this disease with no name BUT, I will have the memory of being asked to be on it and I will have my health.



One of my worst traits is that I tend to take on too much.  I have the “yes” gene.  I think it stems from a secret wish to be noticed.  A need to feel validated.  If someone asks me for help they must really need ME right?  WRONG! 

Have you ever noticed how the same people are always the ones that step up?  I am beginning to think it is because we have the word SUCKER tattooed on our foreheads. 

I woke up this morning and realized that the more I take on, the sicker I get.  I currently suffer from a disease with no name.  I have noticed that I am at my worst at night, yet most of the things I tackle I tackle at night.  I have been in bed by 8:00 all but one night in the last month (I “slept” in a museum last weekend).  My body is SCREAMING for help.

I have decided that it is PAST time that I started to listen to my body and have come to the conclusion that I must prioritize.  This means that I must take a look at all the things I have said yes to and consider turning some of them into a, “I’m sorry but I must take care of my health first so I am withdrawing as…”

I think once I let go, I can start to well, let go.

I will let you know how it works out.

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